일요일, 7월 31, 2005
Thinking
Did i sounded sad, as if my world was crashing down on me in the previous entry? Ok, maybe i did. Now pple probably think that im suffering from spilt personality disorder. Maybe i really am. Nah. Im sure everyone has their own mood swings n dog days occasionally. Right?
One more week left to official school term. Shld be rejoicing cos i finally can rid myself of working. Eh budden again it doesnt seem any better if u ask me. 从一个火坑跳进另一个火坑。Well, anything la. I am so nua now if u ask me to do anything i would probably accede to ur request (of cos save for asking me to work). Too lazy to argue with u also so might as well just agree. Hmm, abit no backbone hor. =p But my morale has really hit rock bottom for the moment. No momentum at all!! My fren wanted to help me kick start my momentum by erm kicking me. So nice of him..haha. Now im in the 'missing-my-frens' mode. Cos i think i hav not caught up with alot of pple for very long le. Anybody wanna jio me out?? Lol..i sound like a despo.
Hmm, kinda think that im really showing signs of an obsession with shopping. Am i a shopaholic after all? But when i look around my own room, it looks pretty ok to me..as in i dun even see piles n heaps of stuff lying around, like what a shopaholic's room ought to look like. So why do i still feel the euphoria n ecstasy in my blood whenever im allowed to go shopping?? Ok, i wouldnt say when im allowed; i shld say whenever i let myself indulge in sinful shopping. Lol. I dun even pamper myself with cheesecakes n chocolate brownies which i noe alot of gers like (like ry!), so i shall comfort myself by saying that i ought to shop more, so as to make up for the imbalance in my life. Heh, self comfort is always an assuring thing.
These few days had real weird dreams..hmm. But no more dreams of dying anymore..okok i know its sadistic (i din sae i wasnt a sadist) but its interesting to play dead mah. Obviously u cant do it in real life, thats wat dreams are for, arent they? My all time fave of 'dying' was one in which i dreamt i was being executed. Cant rem by who already but i know my mum was there n she din noe i was beheaded n she went to push me so i could feel my head sliding off my shoulders..hah super cool right? Hehz..
또 울어버렸다.. @ 9:49 PM
금요일, 7월 29, 2005
What shld i do?
Im at the crossroads of my life once again. I see bleakness on my right, despair on my left. Should i venture forward or should i just stay where i am? I do not seek solace in the fact that im alone on this lonely road. But i do not care.
Im totally, immensely, really, truly, very, extremely, super bored. N i cant be bothered to think of any more words.
Whats wrong wif me nowadaes? Issit the work, the school, or the pple? -shrugs- honestly i dunno whats bugging me. Or shld i sae i dun wish to noe? Which of cos goes to show that deep down, i do noe whats bothering me, but i just dun wish to admit it. Sadness is not something to be shared wif pple. Cos it only affects pple's moods. N why shld i bother pple wif my own emotions?
All i ask is to be happy. Is that so difficult? Maybe i shld get a change of environment. Go out wif pple who can make me happy, make me laugh over silly things that they do, that just evoke the laughter n joy in me naturally. Volunteers? Nah..
I wanna go rollerblading!! I have been thinking abt this for like centuries n still i have yet to go. Argh. N recently another thing has been on my mind constantly. I think i m in love. Heh. With a pair of converse sneakers. *beams* Its this grey n pink sneakers that i seen on 2 strangers n i hav been longing to get it ever since. Haha i love my shoes so much i went to buy new laces (u noe the fancy kind) n 2 pair of new socks to anticipate its arrival. Pls do not tell me that they are out of stock at the last min .My world will come crushing down by then. N i do have mild heart attack thankew.
This world is weird..
또 울어버렸다.. @ 10:56 PM
Getting more nua
I think i m getting more nua as the days pass.
U know sometimes, i will just sit there n stare blankly at the space infront of me, wondering : what am i good at? And i will just flip this question thousands n hundreds of time over in my brain. Flip, flip, flip, well u get the idea. But i cant say i reached a conclusion so far, which isnt conclusive. Cos it may mean that i have too many things that i excel in that i have a hard time listing every single one out. But on the other hand, it may also very well mean that there is simply nothing on this world that i can say im good in. If u ask me, of cos i would prefer to believe in the former, but still...
Feeling abit lost recently, can anyone tell me whats my goal in life? I know i may be insignificant in this world, but i still need an aim dun i. Really think i ought to be goin out more often. Aiya, just anything besides working lah. I just want to be outside but not in the office, or be slacking at home. Either one will do. I wanna get a small sewing machine but my mum dun let me. Sigh.
Am i a money-minded person? Someone always makes me feel as if im. I m just trying to earn more money to feed myself. I dun see anything wrong in that, if u ask me. But neva mind, its ok. I jus wan money, n lots of it. Cos i know myself, n i know im pretty high maintainence. I cant help it lah. So the only way out is to earn it myself, so i wun hav to answer to anyone.
Let me think of sth happy to say. Abit difficult though. Hmmm... Oh, yesterdae went ktv with kt, ng, hy n xj. Too bad jn couldnt make it. I 五音不全. Lol. But i still like jj's songs. Some pple have voices that i like alot. Like jj, 仁甫, kangta n hyesung. I just love hearing them sing. There is just something abt their voice which i cant pinpoint exactly y i like. Well, like i always say,
like is like. No reason.
또 울어버렸다.. @ 9:25 AM
월요일, 7월 25, 2005
Super sian
Getting quite tired of writing my blog actually. Must be the school stress that is getting to me. School is starting soon..pls kindly note the
siandiao expression on my face. B-O-R-E-D. I have an innate aversion to anything related to education. Okok, im procrastinating again. N i actually resolved to be more motivated in my life recently. There goes my resolution.
Hmm, jus bought the 2nd ex-est thing in my life so far with ng. The first one, being my digicam. I finally bought my first pair of Levis! Heh ry, i ended up buying the marissa square cut one also. Looks nice leh. At least it din flatten my butt as much as the 593. Lol. That one was quite bad esp since it was the button flare one instead of zip flare. Which idiot wears jeans w 3 buttons u tell me. So mafan.
But anyway, i finally cleared most of my shoppin list b4 sch reopens. Hehz. Jeans, bag, shoes...hmm but i guess my nokia 7270 will jus have to be shelved. Cos $398 is still too ex for me. N i wanna embark on my savings plan soon or else i will be filing for bankrupcy soon alreade. =p
Lets just hope school will not be as bad as i think.
또 울어버렸다.. @ 1:11 PM
목요일, 7월 21, 2005
My last 3 days
Hiaks. Yesterday was my last day before my 4 day leave (not last day of work, i wish though) n i actually stayed back until 8pm to finish up things. But the worst thing is that i only discovered my error yesterday n its already the 3rd thing i done wrong there. First was that i sent all the letters with the wrong date n i got scolded by my director indirectly. I mean his tone sounded harsh even though my colleagues say that he was only telling me. Oh well. Den the second thing was that i sent out the cc copies (tt means photocopied ones of the original letter) with the wrong amount of money. That was still ok cos it was sent internally so i could get them back. But the first one i had to resend an apology letter to all of them! =( Den the third thing which i only found out yesterdae was that i had accidentally sent out double letters to abt 17 clients which i have to collect back frm them. N my manager is quite worried that they might complain cos my director's name is on each letter n there were pple who called in to complain that how come he din noe what he was signing. So now my head is on the chopping board!!
Pls just let me dig a hole in the ground n hide myself...sheesh..
alamah time for my da chang jin....
또 울어버렸다.. @ 9:28 AM
화요일, 7월 19, 2005
Bored bored..
Im so bored again..But im still counting down to the end of my work which is only another 5 miserable days! Heh. I sound as if i loathe going work cos i get tortured there or something. Seriously, there's nothing wrong with the job n i believe it can be considered a 'wonderful' part time job to most pple, so the problem just lies with me. Ya,me. Im simply, not cut out for admin job. Staring at the comp the whole day (ok, so half day for me) just isnt my cup of tea (i dun drink tea in the first pl, well maybe cept for green tea). Conclusion: 'I hate admin work!!'
Yeah, i finally have my chinese blog which can be found under 'my stories'. The theme seems bit melancholic but thats just the beginning lah. Now im still drafting my first story on paper so just started with quotes. Yap, all penned by me. I still hav a song i wrote in jc which is in my diary somewhere. Nvm, i will dig it out somedae n put it there also. Now abit nua to do anything. Heh.
Heh piggy, we shld name ourselves in a more effective way. U still rem our moron, dummy n idiot? Lol. Think i will never forget the connection to toilet bowl, cd n monkey for the rest of my life. They are all embedded in my memories le. Heh ger, so hope whenever u are feeling down, think of all the wonderful things we did tgt..cos all these codewords belong solely to the 3 of us only..*smiles*
또 울어버렸다.. @ 11:28 AM
금요일, 7월 15, 2005
Cheery!
Heh been in a cheery mood recently. Its been too long since i have been really happy and i shant say why. Heez..Someday ba. Someday when i feel like saying. For now, sssHhhh...=)
Me n hy are planning to set up an accessories store online. So fun. Even though my jie poured cold water on us (but ya i do understand), i just wanna try it out. Jie, 好吗。。? I guess u can say that im the kind of person who wun give up until trying it out. Especially if i really like something/someone/some watever..it will just keep nagging at me if i give up without even trying. Its only after i tried and i failed that i will really 死心.
Yeah, 7 more days to freedom. I cant say that these 3 months have been fruitful, unless u are referring to the financial sense. Lol. Lets just hope that i earn enough to save enough after my splurge. I still hav quite a couple of things on my wishlist which i hope i can fulfill before school starts again. Hehz. Greedy greedy me. Lalala.
Everything seem so much nicer now that im in cheery mode. Heh psychologically ba. I read in a mag somewhere that said people are attracting into their lives the things that they think about constantly.
Faith starts with believing that a towering tree can grow from a mustard seed. Just read one of my other piggy's blog. Heh ger i still wan to eat my tissue prata! =p We still must go rollerblading tgt k. Ohya are we still goin over zw's place to swim? Heh must tell me earlier den i can rearrange my tuit..Hmm. I guess in this world, its either u get hurt or u hurt other pple. No matter how unfair it may be, its the way things work.
我相信时间能冲淡一切。 离开一个人，不是想伤害他，而是因为如果不爱他，却在他的身边，才是对他最大的伤害。伤心是必然的，可是伤口会随着时间愈合，最后留疤，永远封闭在我的记忆里。
또 울어버렸다.. @ 10:02 AM
금요일, 7월 08, 2005
又是一天
Mods listing is finally out..heh phew my core mods dun seem to clash with my jap 3 so far. Bought the books alreade so cannot waste by not taking it. =p As for my cores, i still dunno what i shld take. Hmm.. think i will go ask around first n see what my frens are taking. Heh. Take alone super sian one leh.
Been wanting to set up a website for me to write stories but til now i still cant find my
dreamweaver so have to shelf that idea for e moment. Or shld i start up another blog again? *thinking* I guess it will do ba, although i think a website is much more savvy but well beggars cant be choosers, so i dun have much of a choice also. Ok, shall start workin on one erm..soon. Heh. Im a lazy piscean. Are pisceans supposed to be lazy? Weird. I think i m a procrastinator. Argh. Okok, will definitely get down to do one before sch starts. Better not keep harping on being lazy or else i will really become lazy n my new blog will have no zhao luo alreade. heh. Hope im not being too greedy, having so many blogs. But the 2 shared ones at least i dun have to spend so much time on them. Esp now cos the co-owners of both seem to have vanished into the air alreade. Anybody knows where they went? Tsk tsk.Now im practically immersing myself in chinese novels everydae! Heh. Super nice n super sweet. N i recently dug up an old Jap serial of mine which i din even watch before n i also love it. Still watchin it though n i hope the ending will be nice. Beginnin to like Tsuyoshi dohmoto cos of his role in the show. Ok, im a bit slow. But i really din like him in Kindaichi leh. Dunno y. Only now in To Heart den i began to notice him. Hmm..Yeah think i can start counting down to the end of my job alreade. Well i did attempt to quit for the 3rd time n again, it din worked out. But my manager did say that as long as i can finish sending out all the letters to the clients i can leave. The date of inception for the last day of proposals is 14 july which means i can only send them out on 28 july, after the 2 week freelook period. So it means if i work fast enuf n can print everything out by say, 30th july, i will still have a week to myself! heh. Better den nothing lah. Lets jus hope i really can get them out by 30th or latest 1 aug now...
또 울어버렸다.. @ 10:04 AM